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We never want to weigh suffering among groups to create some kind of hierarchy of pain. Still seen as deviants or criminals or ill, gay prisoners often were either not released, or immediately put into prisons for the crime of homosexuality. That is, if they managed to survive the war in the first place. Not only were they a favorite of the German soldiers for target practice, for the hardest work details, and for surgical experiments similar to the Jewish experience , gay men were also routinely beaten to death by fellow prisoners.
It is little surprise that we know much less about their experiences than those of others in the camps:. Quantitative analysis offers a sad explanation for the extraordinary lack of visibility: the individual pink-triangle prisoner was likely to live for only a short time in the camp and then to disappear from the scene. In their memory, we can all learn about — and make part of any Holocaust remembrance conversation — what happened to all of those who had another color triangle sewn to their yellow one.
Over sandwiches, enjoying the gorgeous weather on a Dupont Circle patio, my friend told me about his exclusion from rabbinical school. At what point do we stop throwing each other under the bus in regards to difference? When do we stop letting others work hard to gain acceptance for pieces of our own different identities, and then turn around and try to shut the door behind ourselves? As a Jew, I am deeply offended that these people presume such a level of bigotry in the broader Jewish community, especially when I see so much evidence to the contrary around me, in communities ranging from secular to observant.
Part of the reason that GLOE exists is because in too many places Jews have been made to feel that they can either be Jewish OR that they can be LGBT; we stand as evidence that these pieces are far from mutually exclusive. It is not incidental that we are part of a larger Jewish organization. That we are embraced by that larger Jewish organization.
Many of those heroes were queer Jews, though frequently that fact remained unknown in their lifetimes. To pretend that it is anything less critical, less significant, hurts everyone. That is to say, it hurts the broader Jewish community.
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In fact, this challenge is covered in the questions from the Jewish Organization Equality Index survey, which is currently trying to hear from every Jewish organization in the country on questions of gender and sexuality inclusivity. Do we make people check boxes when asking questions about gender, or is it a fill-in line?
Do we give everyone something as basic as a safe place to use the restroom? When your children wrap their arms around you, they seem to be hugging someone else. Every morning you wake up shocked to find that parts of you have disappeared, that you are smothered in flesh you cannot recognize as yours.
That you have lost the body you never had. This week was also Purim — the holiday that includes plenty of joyous play around bending gender and celebrating the power in creating different views of ourselves and each other. Though trans identities are obviously more complex that simply Purim costumes, as we honor the women of our communities this week, my hope is that the drag-tastic embrace of Purim can spill over into how we think about women — all women — and the joy found therein, in that inclusiveness.
In a town where everyone seems to know everyone or claims to , we managed to make hundreds of new matches among queer Jews and our friends in the DC area. Most people showed up in first-date finest with open minds and ready to see who would sit down at their tables.